This is another homeless man we met on the street. I don’t remember his name though. You can see that tear thats just about to run down his rough bruised face. The pain in his eyes. The blue represents grief and heartbreak, while the redness represents lonliness and pain.
He was in the military or navy or whatever before he ended up homeless. His hometown is Tennessee but they put him in San Diego. This man didn’t become homeless like the rest of the people we met on the streets, he chose to be homeless. He has a sense of pride in him. He said he has Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is - “a psychological reaction that occurs after experiencing a highly stressing event (ex. war) outside the range of normal human experience and that is usually characterized by depression, anxiety, flashbacks, recurrent nightmares, and avoidance of reminders of the event”. Basically when you’ve become traumatized by critical events and gone nuts. In war he saw his frend’s brains blow up, right in font of him. And he’s had a mental breakdown ever since. With this disorder he couldn’t maintain a job. And he tried getting help, from therapists around the area but they couldn’t help him, he was even desperate enough to go to the dentist because he thought they would help him and have some kind of medicine he could take, but nothing helped him.
He could go back to Tennessee if he wanted, he even had his own trailer back at his sister’s house. As a matter of fact he could call his sister and tell her he wants to go home, she would send some money for him for a plane and he can just leave this place. The only reason he doesn’t go home is because he has pride. And he chose to have this lifestyle. He doesn’t want his family to know he’s homeless. First he wants to find a job and have a much more better, stable life. But he said he has a nice lifestyle, sort of. He has his cart full of stuff; razors, beverages, sleeping bag, etc. And he has the other homeless men, he knows that Ernest guy that I interviewed before. They all like to camp together. He said that its good to have friends like them when your homeless, and that you need to chose the right people to be your friends. “I wouldn’t let someone hurt another homeless guy. I’m a nice dude.”
When he started to cry it really got to me, and made me cry. I even wanted to give him a hug, but that would be creepy and weird. He was glad that he got to share his story with him though. His eye color is so gorgeous. It was like sky blue with grey/white in the middle. His eyes are like that because he has bad eyes, or he popped a blood vessel. Thats what he told us. I think his eyes are the most powerful in the picture. I was really scared to approach him because he looked scary. But people like him are normal people. They have feelings, many many feelings. Some are not like the stereotypical “hobos” that ask for money to get some drugs, booze, cigs. They need the money to eat and to live. If you see one on the street atleast give them your spare change. It would really make them happy and give them hope.
(via imbruk)
I remember getting off the city transit bus at the Oceanside Beach and right when I got out, there he was. I was surprised to see him and his eyes are exactly that color. I didn’t know what to say, so I just kept walking, but it killed me and I regret not doing anything about it when I saw him.
